New Year, New Life

It's crazy the difference a year makes. I spent January of 2012 in Namibia.  I have wanted to visit Africa for as long as I can remember and had the trip of a lifetime.  Steve and Paula are back there now and I have been reliving my experience through their email and photo updates.  I was able to see amazing wildlife and geography, but more importantly to connect with wonderful people.  Getting to know Uuane (our guide) and understanding Namibia through his eyes was the highlight of my experience.  I loved meeting and spending time with Steve and Paula's friends, who are more of an extended family.  The trip expanded my understanding of the world and the state of Africa.  It was an incredible experience and dream come true.  

Here I am in January of 2013, spending 90% of my time at home cuddled up with Owen, another dream come true.  Though I love to travel there is nowhere I would rather be than right here with my beautiful baby boy.  

New Year's Eve 2012 

Newborn Photos

Owen's newborn photo shoot from day seven of life.  So sweet.  Photos by JP photography.

First Weeks

I always imagined the first week with a baby to be the worst. I knew I would be instantly in love, but expected to be sleep deprived and stressed. I had images in my mind of me, Ty and the baby all crying simultaneously. Turns out, that wasn't the case at all.  Largely in part to the fact that we had a lot of help. They say it takes a village and in our case, it did.  My mom stayed with us the first week, which was amazing. Having three sets of hands to care for a newborn is the perfect amount.  Plus, as a new mama it turns out I really wanted my mom.  It was so nice to have her here to take care of me while I took care of Owen.  She cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped and took the baby at 5 am when Ty and I were at our wits end.  Our village of helpers extended far beyond my mom; everyone was here to help out. Chris and Kari walked Jake, Rachel cleaned my bathrooms, Erin baked cookies, Kelsi and Aaron brought food and essential baby products, Paula made us a freezer full of delicious meals and Steve loaded our cupboards with Trader Joe's goodies. Having such an amazing network of support eased the stress of a newborn and got us through that first week as smoothly as one could hope for. 

Owen definitely did his part in helping that week go well.  I was really worried about breast feeding, as I feel like that is what really makes or breaks the first few weeks. He latched on and feed like a champ the first hour he was born.  He fed and slept well and has such a sweet temperament, I couldn't ask for an better baby.   

The other thing that was so nice about that first week is I had nothing to worry about except my little man.  My focus was 100% on him and nothing else mattered. As the weeks have gone on life has picked back up and I now have to juggle house keeping, cooking, paying the bills, making appointments, etc; but I got to put all of that on hold for the first week.  I took a bath and plucked my eyebrows on day five and my mom vacuumed while I soaked. With my OCD personality, having my house cleaned made it the most relaxing bath ever. 

I'm not saying it was a walk in the park, but we had a lot of great moments among the demands of caring for a newborn.  Owen peed with pretty much every diaper change, the first time on his face, multiple times on the wall, changing table and floor. My mom and I laughed on the couch listening to Ty call out from the nursery as his changed Owen's diaper and pee went everywhere....  Ty got a little delusional one night at tried my breast pump on himself.... Rachel, my mom and I watched my boobs double in size as Owen nursed and my milk came in..... I sat on the couch and cried as I held my sweet boy, overwhelmed by how full my heart felt and my love for him. 

Right around the two week mark was definitely our low point. My mom was gone, Owen was getting fussier and my hormones were going crazy. I was either freezing cold or one thousand degrees, moody and exhausted. Luckily, it was pretty transient and week three brought much relief. 

We are humbled and incredibly grateful for overwhelming love and support we received to make it through those first weeks.  Not only for the family and friends that were able to be here, but for the gifts, cards, calls, Facebook messages and visits. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, these special moments and gestures made all the difference. 

        

The Foundation of Love

Owen came exactly when I hoped he would.  I wanted him to be born a little early so that his birthday wouldn't be too close to Christmas or Thanksgiving.  I also knew that if he was early it would be much more feasible for us to make it down to Clackamas for Christmas.  A friend sent us his "Card of Destiny" based on his birthday and it makes perfect sense why he was born November 29th.

A 4 of Hearts: The Foundation of Love (From Cards of Destiny by Sharon Jeffers)

"These children are very sensitive and highly intelligent. They are acutely aware of their surroundings and must have a stable, warm, harmonious environment to grow in. Support them in their desire to give to others. Many of these kids are interested in global issues. They are able to take in great amounts of information and learning at an early age, and most thrive with such opportunities. Follow their lead in supporting them to pursue their dreams, as they may have them very early on."

I love this so, so much because it's exactly how I've always imaged him to be.  As Ty put it, Owen has a quite beauty about him that has captured our hearts.  He's such a sweet baby and will definitely make his mark on this world.  I can't wait to support him as he pursues his dreams.  

Owen's Birth Story

Ty and I proudly welcomed Owen Christopher on November 29th, 2012 at 12:52pm. Giving birth was an incredible experience.  I don't think back and remember pain or suffering, but joy and a sense of oneness with all the other mamas out there.

Much to everyone's surprise, Ty handled the delivery really well.  He didn't pass out or throw up and was super supportive.  I think I did pretty well, too.  I was worried that I would get crazy or mean, but never felt that way.  I managed to stay as calm as could be expected and was able to have the birth that I dreamed of.  

My labor started late Wednesday afternoon.  I was scheduled to work a 12-hour shift and somehow by the grace of God, we were overstaffed, and I got to go home early.  I had carpooled into work that morning so I had to take a cab home.  I was really uncomfortable in the cab and attributed it to having an extremely full bladder (not an uncommon occurrence in late pregnancy).  In retrospect, that's when I had my first contraction. Although I knew my labor was approaching that evening, I didn't want to overreact or get too excited, so I essentially ignored it.  It was a full moon and I had just finished reading that there is a greater instance of false labor when the moon is full.  As Ty and I relaxed on the couch that night I told him "I think I'm going to have the baby tomorrow," although I couldn't quite articulate how I knew that when he asked why.  I went to bed around 10 pm and that's when my contractions picked up and I was sure what I was feeling was indeed early labor.  I lay there until Ty came to bed at around 11:30 pm, at which time I told I was having contractions.  We started timing them and they were around 8 minutes apart. At this point, I could feel the contractions but they weren't really painful.  I was determined to get some sleep, thinking and stressing about the fact I had been up since 5 am and on my feet all day, of the long labor ahead and the coming sleepless nights that accompany a newborn.  After counting a lot of sheep and watching a few TV shows, I was finally able to rest from 2-5 am. 

Ty had sent a text message to our family and close friends around midnight to let them know there would be a baby sometime in the near future.  When we got out of bed around 6 am, he was fielding phone calls as everyone woke up and received his message.  I was still feeling good at this point; the contractions were steady and strong but not enough to stop me doing anything.  I showered, packed our hospital bag, and attempted to rest as much as possible.  Around 8 am I was reviewing the different labor positions we have practiced in our birth class when I remembered that I had wanted to get a birth ball.  I thought it would be nice to have not only for labor, but I heard they are good to hold and bounce babies on.  When I mentioned this to Ty, he offered to run down to Fred Meyer and pick one up.  It sounded like a great idea to me.  We also needed some snacks to take to the hospital and I was feeling just fine, so I sent him to Fred Meyer with a list. Well, that turned out to not be such a good idea.  While he was away my contractions really picked up.  It went from being able to talk and move around during them to stopping in my tracks and getting down on all fours during each one.  Rest was clearly no longer an option so I was fiddling around the house, trying to stay busy and distracted.  At this point the contractions were coming every 2-4 minutes.  Looking back, it would have made sense to call Ty and tell him to rush home, but I just waited.  When he finally got home, an hour later, things went from calm to crazy. Ty was freaking out and kicking himself for leaving and I was having really intense contractions, complete with grunting and screaming.  I have an image of him in my mind standing in the kitchen and pumping up the damn birth ball with all his vigor.  We called the midwife around 9:30 and she suggested that we stay home for a couple more hours; it's my first baby, we live close and my water hadn't broken yet.  I agreed, another not so good idea retrospectively.  10 minutes after we get off the phone, my water started breaking and leaking out during every contraction. At this point, we called the midwife back and were anxiously waiting for our doula, Vanessa, to arrive.  She got here and knew immediately that this labor was much further along than Ty or I realized and encouraged us to get going.  She asked me if I felt like I wanted to push during the contractions and I said I didn't know, but looking back I absolutely did.  

So, off to the hospital we go, luckily it's only about 5 minutes down the road.  As we arrived, it was like the scene you see in every movie where a woman is about to deliver (minus the dramatic water breaking all over my shoes).  I am screaming and having crazy intense contractions, Ty is hobbling along on his crutches, and the poor guy working at the greater desk is trying to offer me a wheel chair (which I refuse) and appears quite concerned.  

I stopped in the middle of the hallway for a contraction right as we were entering the maternity ward.  I think the nurses thought I was being dramatic until they realized that I was pretty much ready to deliver.  They took me into a room a were asking me all the intake questions, "do you having a living will?"  "have you taken infant CPR?" all the while I am in crazy pain and having contractions every 2-3 minutes.  Finally, they decided to check me and see how far along I was. I was dilated to 9 cm and the midwife wasn't there yet.  Now they are starting in IV on one arm, drawing labs on the other, trying to get the heart rate monitor on my belly, and simultaneously continuing to ask the ridiculous intake questions.  They called the midwife who was in clinic and had her come down.  She checked me, confirmed I was totally dilated and said I could start pushing. 

After the first few pushes we could already see the head and I was encouraged that this portion of the delivery was going to go as quickly as the rest.  Unfortunately, that was not the case.  After the first two or three good pushes, Owen's head got stuck didn't make any progress for the next 45 minutes.  The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck and his heart rate wasn't tolerating the contractions well, so the midwife opted to do an episiotomy.  Ty lost it at that point and had to sit down while he cried. Although having an episiotomy is pretty much everyone's worst nightmare during labor, by that point I would have done anything to get the baby out.  We were so close and not making any progress. After the episiotomy, he was out with 3 or 4 more pushes.     

They immediately put him skin to skin on my chest, which was the most magical moment of my life.  I cried, kissed his head and told him I had waited my whole life for this.  Our beautiful baby boy is finally here.