5 1/2 Month Love Letter

My sweet Owen,

Wow. 5 1/2 months. You have already grown and changed so much in your short life.  You get more and more fun all the time. Your favorite things these days are singing songs, rolling around, playing on the activity mat and in the exersaucer, going for walks in the ergo, taking baths and playing with your mom and dad.  It's pretty awesome that now you clearly prefer us over anyone else.  I see you search for my face and lock eyes with me when you're feeling overwhelmed.  You pretty much always breaks into that beautiful, all consuming smile when I walk into a room.  You've started laughing a lot, which is the best sound in the entire world.  We will do anything to get you to giggle.

We have made some serious progress in the sleep department.  You are now sleeping un-swaddled in your crib and only waking up to nurse once.  We still have a rough night here and there but things are continually improving.  If I'm being honest, I love nursing you in the middle of the night.  Especially on days I work and barely get to see you there is something sacred about the two of us silently connecting while the rest of the world is asleep.  Since I've been back at work I've been taking naps with you most days.  We snuggle in bed together and catch up from some of the sleepless nights. 

We are going to start feeding you solids soon, I can tell you are more then ready.  When we eat, you stare in awe.  The plan is to start with avocado.  I hope you grow up to be an adventurous eater. It won't be long before you're sitting up on your own and you're starting to show signs of wanting to crawl.  I also think you may be starting to teethe.  It's hard work being a baby! 

You dad has been amazing with you and is equally smitten.  Watching him with you makes me love him even more.  I have amazing moments with you every day but the ones that are most vivid in my memory are the ones we've shared as a family.  Mother's Day was this past weekend, my first.  Being your mama is the most amazing gift I've ever been granted.  It brings me more joy than I could have imagined.  I love you in a way only a mother can, my sweet baby Owen. 

xoxo,

Your Loving Mama 

Back to Work

After 18 wonderful weeks at home with my little man, the time has come to return to work.  I loved being on maternity leave and am so thankful I was able to have that time at home, but I was ready to start working again.  Around week 16 I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by being home all. the. time.   My days were starting to feel very monotonous—clean the house, walk around greenlake, obsess over the baby….  Being a nurse again has helped me regain the professional portion of my identity and it feels great to be back.  I love my job.  I love the people I work with.  And only having to be away from my sweet baby a few days a week is a perfect balance.   Working certainly makes me a better mom.  With that being said, I feel crazy busy these days and wonder how I will fit it all in.  Nope, the “mom brain” isn’t getting better, I am the world’s biggest scatterbrain and the time continues to fly by. 

I love that Ty and Owen get every other weekend together while I’m at work.  It’s really important to me that Ty and I share the parenting responsibilities and I want him to be comfortable and confident caring for the baby on his own.  I won’t lie; it also felt really nice to give Ty a taste of how much work it is to be by yourself with a baby all day.  It is wonderful and equally exhausting, Ty gaining that understanding has changed our family dynamic for the better.  I haven’t heard him makes any more comments about how wearing it is to be working at the office all day.

I have to add that Owen rolled over from back to front for the first time the first day Ty and I were both working.  Grandma Paula and Papa Steve were with him and sent us a video of him rolling over like it was no big deal.  After 18 weeks at home, I miss a developmental milestone my first week back... 

The worst part about returning to work has been the nanny drama.  We have had a hell of a time finding someone reliable to watch Owen.  First we planned to use a stay at home mom and she turned out to be a total flake, deciding it was going to be too stressful to care for a baby and her son at the same time.  We then found a wonderful nanny, Allie, and have been using her for a few weeks.  Her boyfriend unexpectedly got accepted to a graduate program in the Netherlands, so they are moving June 1^st.  Seriously?  As often happens, these fumbles are turning out to be blessings in disguise.  Allie will watch Owen through May and then Rachel with take over for the summer.  I am super excited to have Rach watch him, she will love him more then any nanny ever could.  Come September we will begin the nanny search, again, and pray we find someone half as wonderful as Rach!

Owen visiting me on my first day back at work. 

4 Month Photo Update

I didn't get around to blogging about month 4.  Here are a few of my favorite photos.  16.4 pounds.

PEPS babies