Pediatric Nursing

When I tell people I am a pediatric ICU nurse, the conversation generally goes something like this--
"Wow.  That must be so hard, I don't know how you do it." And I reply, "It can be hard at times but kids are so resilient, the success stories outweigh the sad ones."  The conversation quickly changes gears because what else can you really say?  How could I possibly explain to someone the hope and heartache that I see at work every single day?  I have taken care of patients that have made such remarkable recoveries I know they must be miracles and I have hugged a mother and sobbed as she made the decision to remove her precious baby from life-support.  I have days where being a nurse fills me up and days where it wears me down.

We do a lot of heart transplants in our unit and it's always an incredible day for the recipient family.  Of course, we all know this means that there is another family somewhere who will go to sleep that night missing their beautiful baby and a large portion of their own hearts.  The way I have always viewed this scenario is that tragedies are going to occur whether organs or donated or not.   I think that transplants can give the donor family a sense of peace and a chance to create something beautiful out of their heartache.  The same applies to being a pediatric nurse.  The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of sicks kids out there and they need a medical team to help them get better.  It would be a lot easier to go through life without witnessing such profound pain but I feel called to help families fight through another day.  The success stories do make it worth it and there are more of them than you would think.  Kids are so much more resilient than you and I and can bounce back like an adult never could.

I have always been drawn to sad stories that end with hope and transformation through love.  From "Touched by an Angel" to "My Sister's Keeper" to my work at Children's I have come to believe that the darkest days can teach us, grow us and make us capable of creating a more beautiful world.

It's a lot harder to cope with the emotional stress of my job now that I'm a mom but I know it also makes me a better nurse.  I understand what it feels like to bring a baby into this world and what it means to be parent.  I can chat with my patients moms about sleep training and help them with breastfeeding.  I can connect with them in ways I wasn't capable of before.  I can only imagine the stress and pain their situation causes them but most of them focus on the positive and struggle through with grace.  I am humbled and inspired by some of the parents I've connect with over the years and am ever aware of what really matters.  I will never forget talking to a dear patients mom days before she died about how she was embarrassed that her 18 month old still took a bottle.  When that patient passed away so shortly after I was reminded that those things don't matter.  Who cares when you wean your baby or how soon they sleep through the night when they are healthy, happy little things.  Being a mom and being a pediatric nurse compliment one another beautifully.  So, even though the pain of my work babies weighs heavy on my heart, it is a huge part of who I am and something that I never want to give up.  I love my job and having the opportunity to make a positive difference in peoples lives.  Nursing challenges me, grows me, breaks my heart and brings me joy.  It is truly a gift.

14 Months

We've got ourselves a 14 monther today.  He is such a little love.  Every stage Ty and I exclaim how this is the best age and according to Ty this time we really mean it.  It's amazing to see Owen beginning to imitate our behavior and reciprocate love. He is super snuggly lately and will lay his head on my lap or come up and plant a kiss on my lips.  He is starting to get a bit of stranger danger and throws little fits when we leave.  He is finally walking with confidence, eats his meals with a fork and enjoys reading.  Owen's newest obsession is looking at our family photos hangings on the walls.  He is down to one nap but it only lasts for an hour and a half or so.  I am hoping that over time it will start to get a little longer because he is usually pretty tired come late afternoon.  Now that Owen is getting a little older things aren't changing quite as drastically from month to month.

I was getting my hair done the other day and my hair dresser asked me what I thought Owen would struggle with.  It was a legitimate question but I couldn't come up with an answer.  I totally felt like "that mom" who thinks her kid is perfect. I know there will be things that are challenging for Owen (and me) as he grows but I have no idea what they'll be yet.  Owen has been a really easy baby and has such a great temperament.  I'd like to think some of that is a result of our parenting but I have a feeling we just got lucky.  Only the second baby will tell.

In non Owen news we are trying to decide (and I am obsessing over) where we want to live in the coming years.  We're planning on having another baby before too long and we would love to have more than our current 890 square feet.  There are multiple options on the table including moving to another house in Seattle, remodeling our basement and moving to Tacoma. There are 100 pros and cons to all three scenarios and I can talk myself into any of them.  I'm hoping we'll have an epiphany and where we are supposed to live will become clear to us before too long.  I am counting down the days until we leave for Maui at the end of the month.  I can't wait to get away and get a tan. I'm excited for Owen to play in the pool and build castles in the sand.  February 25th can't come soon enough!