Hazel's birth was a beautiful experience and as I sit here to remember that day my heart could not be more full.
I had my first contractions on the 4th of July, at which point I was just about 38 weeks. I've never had braxton hicks with any of my pregnancies and have learned from the previous two births not to downplay when things get started. Thus, I thought the baby would be coming in the next few days. I called my mom and let her know to be on "yellow alert" and told Ty to mentally prepare. Well, the contractions then stopped and she didn't end up coming for another 10 days.
Ty insisted that I stop working from that point on, which I hated but also agreed was best. It's a long commute and we know my labors progress quickly. So I spent a week and a half not working and feeling like I couldn't really do anything. I didn't want to be too far from home and everyday felt like it dragged on. I felt pretty good physically and still two weeks from my due date I didn't have any reason to complain that the baby wasn't here yet. But I was anxious, bored and felt like I was wasting my precious day of my maternity leave. At the same time, I was trying to enjoy my last few days of calm, both resting and getting as many things checked off my to-do list as possible.
On July 12, which was a Wednesday, the contractions came back after a long morning walk. The boys were at daycare so I hit up Costco, got organized and cleaned the house. I had already washed all the windows and organized everything the week before but there were a few cobwebs in high corners that needed to go if I was going to be ready for this baby. I picked the boys up around 5 and felt the first truly painful contraction on the way home. With that I knew it was go time. I called my mom and asked her head up after work, knowing it would be huge load off to have her here if we needed to leave in the middle of the night. As we were having dinner I started timing the contractions, as they were happening pretty frequently. I got a little nervous at this point and told Ty we needed to get the boys to bed quickly.
I laid down with Owen to get him to sleep and wasn't feeling nearly as much labor activity with rest. Nana arrived around 10 and after getting her settled Ty and I went for a walk to see if was really time to get this party started. Turns out it was. We called the midwife shortly after, around midnight. The triage nurse agreed that based on my symptoms we should come in. As we were walking out the door the nurse called me back to let me know that the hospital we were planning on delivering at was totally full so they wanted to divert me to Tacoma General Hospital. This was a curve ball and not something we were expecting but I didn't really care. The midwife on call was not the one I normally see so I didn't feel any real allegiance to her or the hospital. Tacoma General took great care of us and it all worked out well.
We checked in through the ER at about 1:30 am. They admitted us into a triage room and checked my cervix. I was dialed to 6 centimeters, our earliest arrival to the hospital yet. From there they moved us to a labor room where the next two hours were pretty calm. Ty and I went for a little walk around the hospital and the nurses got all the admission paperwork completed. At about 4 am the baby's heart rate was dropping so the nurse gave me some IV fluids and put me on oxygen. The doctor came in and asked if she could break my water to move things along (exactly what I was going to suggest). She broke my water at 4:20 am which made the contractions about ten times more intense and I started shaking uncontrollably. I kept feeling like I had to pee and poop but it was really hard to get in and out of bed with all the monitors. The nurse was still worried about the heart rate so she wanted me to stay put. Shortly thereafter I was feeling a lot of pressure and knew that this baby was coming soon. I told the nurse but I don't think she realized how quickly things were progressing.
My nurse was incredibly sweet but clearly a very new nurse with a timid personality. She was frantically trying to get everything set up before she called the doctor in. Sometime around 5 am, I rolled onto my back and told her I was ready to start pushing. She sounded the staff emergency alarm and pretty soon there were 10 people in the room preparing for a very precipitous delivery. The next few contractions were impossibly painful and my other two labors flashed back to my mind. I had a brief freak out, took a few deeps breaths and said out loud, "I can do this." Soon after they were telling me the baby had a lot of hair. It was clear at this point that I wasn't going to tear, again, and the only way to get this baby out was another episiotomy. I asked them to just do it, which sounds crazy but I've been through this before and know there is no point in waiting. After they did the episiotomy I'm not exactly sure how it happened but I pushed with all my might, reached down and pulled the baby onto my chest. As I was pulling her up I saw that it was a girl and sobbed tears of joy. It was by far the best surprise of my life and one of the most magical moments. My heart burst into a million pieces with the baby girl I've always dreamed of in my arms at long last.
I knew deep down in my soul that we were meant to be a family of five but it wasn't until Hazel was here that I fully believed it. Nancy Tillman says it best- "You're here for a reason, you most certainly are. The world would be different without you, by far. If not for your hands and your eyes and your feet, the world, like a puzzle, would be incomplete."
Welcome to the world, Hazel Grace. You are so, so loved.
