Monday, August 6, 2018

One Year Love Letter

Oh sweet Hazel,

As we celebrate your first birthday I keep thinking about the euphoria and tears of joy that I couldn't stop shedding when you were born. Reflecting on that monumental day and the last year brings the familiar sting as more tears well up. Your birth day was one of the best days of my life and I will never forget seeing you for the first time or feeling the weight of your newborn body on my chest. When I held you in my arms I felt like I was finally complete. I am so glad that your brothers came first that you are our last baby. I've never been happier than that day and my heart continues to swell with love for you with every rise and fall of the sun.

You took your first steps around 10 months but really started walking at about 11 1/2. You're all over the place and putting rocks, bunny poop and bark in your mouth every chance you get. You are frantic for food and want to have what the rest of us are eating. Nothing cut up or pureed will do, just a chicken cutlet in one piece, string cheese, full pieces of fruit or your brothers Cliff Bars. You eat baby food packets and love to get them out of the pantry for yourself. As your hair gets longer it just sticks up straighter. I tried pig tails and I'm not sure it's the solution to the crazy hair. You like to snuggle with your lovies and are still pretty obsessed with the binki.

With toddlerhood on the horizon you are getting sassy and letting us know you have an opinion, too. You want to be a part of everything and participate in whatever is going on. You're a baby ninja warrior and despite your petite frame can climb anything. You went from being a baby to a toddler overnight and I wasn't quite ready for it. But now that a few weeks have passed I've (mostly) learned to keep track of you and have been enjoying watching your independence blossom. You love to dance and snuggle your head onto my chest if you're feeling shy. You love swinging and playing with balls. You're in a great routine with regular naps and 12 hours of sleep at night. At your 12 month check up you were in the 20th percentile for weight and 4th for height.

There is no doubt that it has been a full year for our family. Between the sleepless nights, losing Jake and higher than usual work demands for both Daddy and I, there has been lots of growth and change. I cherish the constant chaos and know that the exhaustion won't last forever but the love and adventure that is alive in our family will.

As much as my heart longed for a daughter, your gender isn't what defines you or my wholehearted love. I love you because you are uniquely you and perfectly ours. I am confident that having you in our family has always been a part of God's plan and I could not be more thankful. For it is written, "All good and perfect gifts come from above."

Happy 1st Birthday, my sweet girl.

xoxo,
Your loving Mama