3-Year-Old Love Letter

My sweet Hazel Grace,

Today you are three years old, full of life and love. You have wisdom beyond your years and striking emotional intelligence. Your strong will tests our patience and you sweet face lights up our lives. 

You love Paw Patrol pajamas and insist on wearing one of your three fleece pairs regardless of the temperature. You still sleep in your crib (arguably our biggest parenting win thus far) and have mastered the art of bedtime procrastination. First it's pajamas, then books, then brushing teeth and donning sleep sac. Snuggling in the chair with songs is next and there is no skipping anything in the line up, which includes Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, ABC's, He's Got The Whole World in His Hands, This Little Light of Mine, Who Let the Dogs Out, Bamboo House and the Itsy Bitsy Spider. You wake up at night frequently with a wide variety of demands. You are fearless on your balance bike and ride it like a pro. You love art and do projects with focus and precision. Books are still one of your favorite pass times and Blipi is your favorite show. Your sweet tooth and candy obsession continues and if you find something you know is off limits you sneak into a corner to devour it. You have a special relationship with each of your brothers and their desire to protect you is strong. You keep up with the 5 neighborhood boys and tackle older kids with abandon. 

My favorite game to play is "bedtime", where you tuck me in and tell me I'm your most special girl. You're an animal lover and want to pet every dog you see. You really internalize the lessons Daniel Tiger teaches and sing the songs you've learned from him. "If you have to go potty, stop and go right away." "Give a squeeze nice and slow, then take a big breath and let it go." You continue to be incredibly articulate and often surprise me in your ability to do a wide variety of things. You give bedtime hugs and kisses to the whole family and never forget Beau. You play well with kids your age and consider Brady Mae and Hannah your besties. 

You are a dream to photograph and capturing your beauty makes my heart sing. You are such an important part of our family and the day you were born will forever be one of my most sacred memories. You are loved, cherished and worthy. Your single minded determination is a tool for greatness and your life is a wonderful work of art. May you seek justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. May you hold fast to the truth that you are known, safe and loved. May you let your light shine. 

I love you with all that I have and all that I am. Happy Birthday, Hazel Grace. 

xoxo,

Your loving mama 

Quaratine 2020

It is a crazy time in the world. Three months ago I couldn't have imagined schools closing and the Governor mandating that everyone shelter in place- but here we are. Home day after day, finishing first grade with an iPad and a completely empty social events calendar. 

As a society we're about doing it all and this has given me an opportunity to evaluate how I buy into that. I've always felt like if we didn't get out of the house and give the kids a way to burn off their energy they were extra crazy. Turns out that's not nearly as true as I imagined it to be. Having the permission to stay in your jammies all day without feeling lazy or left out has been a welcome change. 

I've found that for me, being intellectually stimulated is vital to my mental health. I need to feel like I'm learning and making progress to thrive. 8 weeks into quarantine I've created a photography website, read 4 books, organized multiple rooms and started a new photography course. With three kids in my care even though we're not leaving the house I certainly don't have a lot of space for projects but I crave it out in the margins and it makes all the difference. 

I've always considered my kids creative and now I have solid evidence that they absolutely are. There have been very few boredom complaints and lots of adventures within our space. We put up a tent in the playroom and they camped out in there for two weeks. The used every pillow and the mattresses from their beds to make a slide down the stairs. They dug for treasure down by the Stonebridge. They went on bike rides miles long and scootered it up around the neighborhood. They had water balloon fights and built forts. They colored, painted and made playdough. We baked and cooked. We celebrated Beau's birthday with decorations, a doggie cake and gifts. We hung out in Grammy and Granpapa's yard and went in their hot tub while they stayed on the patio. They watched movies and played games on the iPad. National Treasure, Descendants, Fire Man Sam and Puppy Dog Pals being the favorites. We homeschooled relatively successfully and read the Jesus Storybook Bible from cover to cover. 

The boys gathered up old toys and I sold them so they could buy new ones. Owen got a pair of rollerblades. Wes got confident without his training wheels on quarantine day 2 and Hazel spent multiple weeks mastering the balance bike. They got Fitbits and tried to get 20,000 steps a day. We made rainbow rice which provided a surprising amount of entertainment. They decorated the driveway with sidewalk chalk and extended their creation to the road. We picked up school lunches. We watched church virtually with more regularity than we could claim getting there in person. We read the Wild Robot series and found a homeschool groove. The kids played house and used Alexa for dance parties. We had a bonfire and did bike rides after dark. We chatted with neighbors in the street. They played with Magnatiles and Matchbox cars. They used some of their money to buy updated nerf equipment and had epic battles. We went for long walks on the golf course. Ty and I cleaned, a lot. The boys helped, a little. They played with cardboard from large outdoor furniture boxes. I took photos. We sorted the LEGOS by color. Ty and I drank a lot of whisky sours. The boys built a secret hideout in an old tree. 

Turns out we are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves. 

I'm grateful that Ty and I still have jobs and that I work in a profession that is part of the solution to this pandemic. I'm holding tight to the truth that with everything in the world that feels out of control, I have power over what happens in my home. There have been lots of little disappointments but more reasons to continue holding tight to the treasures within these walls. We have everything we need right here. My heart breaks for the kids who don't find refuge in their homes and all the suffering that is taking place in the world. And it's grateful for the goodness that remains.