9-Year-Old Love Letter

 My sweet Wessy bug, 

You are a nine-year-old third grader living your best life. With this school year came a new sense of confidence and outgoingness. You have deepened existing friendship and found your tribe with Kingston and Chase. Kingston is an only child and lives in the neighborhood so you get invited on lots of fun adventures with his family. You play sports at recess and are the self proclaimed best on the playground. You love recounting your amazing fails and accomplishments. You teacher, Mr. Cleary, is a great fit for you. He's fun, funny and teaches well to kids who are academically advanced. You tested in the highly capable program for math but chose to stay in a traditional classroom. 

You love lounging on the couch and running errands doesn't interest you at all. I've recently worked hard to instill cleaning up after yourself as a family value and though it's taken some time, you respect this rule and have work hard to do your part. You are quick to accommodate your siblings to keep the peace in our family, something I deeply appreciate but consciously attempt not to rely on. Your incredible memory and luck beyond the bell curve remain. Owen recently referred to as the human calculator. You love watching football and keep track of the players statistics. You reallllyyy want to go to a Seahawks game. Your favorite foods are popcorn, yellow peppers, pasta, rice and oatmeal. You're remiss when it comes to making decisions and frequently ask me and daddy to make small choices for you.

You opted out of soccer this fall and stayed with your spring flag football team, which you loved. Your team won the division championship but you didn't get to play the position you wanted, so we're evaluating our family values when choosing sports teams. The playoff game was against former Seahawk Richard Sherman's son's team. You lost, but it was a pretty epic experience. When those kids are in the NFL you'll be able to say you played against them when you were eight. Basketball last winter went fine but we've decided to opt out of winter team sports to focus on skiing as a family. Piano lessons only lasted about three months before you decided to take a break (aka, quit). I'm still hoping you'll go back. You used your money to get a new bike over the summer. You're signed up to play lacrosse and more flag football in the spring. 

You and Hazel are besties. She is constantly asking you to do things for her and you consistently offer your love and support. You play together regularly and share a special bond. Your relationship with Owen has been up and down. You guys find plenty of ways to engage in activities together and equal opportunities to fight. You're still pretty much always down for a good board game and have recently discovered "Dude Perfect." You never got around the putting the Lego sets from last Christmas together but will play school or build forts all day. 

Your growing confidence, friendships and independence have been the highlight of this year. I love watching you learn, play and discover. You're super sweet, thoughtful and silly. I am so proud of you and grateful to be your mama with all of my being. You are deeply loved and cherished. 

Happy birthday, sweet boy. 

xoxo

Your loving mama 

11-Year-Old Love Letter

My sweet Owen,

The first half of your 10th year was one of my favorites stages of your childhood. You leaned into who you are, worked hard to achieve your goals and continued to develop your leadership skills. 

There were these magical months where you were living out the values we'd instilled in you. You made significant academic progress, stayed close with your core group of friends and excelled during the spring season of lacrosse. You gave 100% effort during every practice and were a leader on the team. One day you stayed home sick from school. Our rule is that if you don't go to school, you can't go to evening actives, either. That day you started feeling better in the afternoon and when I reminded you of the rule your response was; "being a leader is going to practice and showing up for your team whenever you can. And I can! I feel better." I really couldn't argue that. Just after the end of lacrosse season you signed up for the school geography bee and got second place. I will never forget how happy you were up on that stage when you realized it was just you and one other contestant remaining. The entire gym couldn't help but smile when you pumped your arms up in the air victoriously. You put a tremendous amount of effort into school and are self motivated to learn. 

This summer you did a canoe and kayak camp that led to an invitation to join the Gig Harbor Canoe and Kayak Racing Team, you accepted with bounding enthusiasm. You also did a summer lacrosse league and an overnight lacrosse camp. After the spring season, summer league and camp you felt burned out with lacrosse and much more excited about the new and shiny canoe racing team. 

In the fall you signed up for a select lacrosse team and promptly decided you hate the sport. There was fighting and arguing about going to practice every. single. Sunday. Daddy and I were a bit devastated because we thought you'd found a sport you truly love. After eight years playing soccer, it never truly clicked. But on the lacrosse field you were fully engaged, which lead us to go all in as a family. A first for the Rallos. The struggle of getting you to practice on Sunday nights was damaging to our relationship and your attitude was poor (on and off the field) for most of the season. We went to two tournaments in November and you enjoyed them some. It was a fun new experience for our family, feeling out the sports tournament vibe. We learned that playing a sport for one season, not the whole year, best suits you so I don't think select sports will become part of our regular routine anytime soon. 

You struggle to find books you enjoy but love to read when you find something engaging. Katherine Applegate was your favorite author of the year but your favorite book was "Ground Zero" by Allen Gratz. You love historical fiction, just like me. 

I can see the teenage changes happening in your brain with big emotions and a hard time regulating them in the moment. However, you are self reflective and always willing to apologize and recognize what you could have done differently when you're calm. As the first born you are accustomed to making decisions for our family and getting your way. Daddy and I have tried to make sure everyone in the family gets to choose at times, which is hard for you. Your relationship with your siblings has been a bit fraught, which was a tough realization. You're working on treating them with the same kindness and respect you do your friends to strengthen your bond. 

You share your thoughts, feelings and emotions freely, for which I'm incredibly grateful. There was a big parenting moment for me this year in which you asked about a particularly horrible word. It was painful for me to say out loud and explain the meaning but I want you to know you can always come to me if you have questions. I'll always tell you the truth. 

At the end of your birthday you laid in bed and cried because it felt like any other day. You vocalized that you appreciated the things we did for you to make it special but you still had to go to school and the rose colored glasses that shade such days as a small child are fading. I remember feeling that way about Christmas in junior high. These are the seemingly unfair realities of crossing the threshold into adolescence. 

You feel strongly that kids your age should not have cell phones and possess no desire to be on social media. You still love being outside-- hiking, swimming, skiing, riding bikes, throwing around a ball. You learned to wake board this summer and absolutely loved it. You've started collecting baseball cards and going to a Mariner's Game was a highlight of your year. Your fierce dedication to family remains. 

My love and pride in who you are is unfaltering. Our family is a space to learn, grow and make mistakes so that when you go out into the world you can bring the best version of yourself, which you consistently do. You are a kind, respectful kid who deeply trusts himself. I love spending time with you and am so proud of you. You're an incredible human and I'm so glad that you're mine.

xoxo,

Your Loving Mama