2020

New Year's resolutions have never been my thing. I'm more of a "change when the spirit moves me" than I am "sit down and list my goals for the month" kind of gal.

As 2020 came and went I was working long shifts both days, feeling uninspired. Then, on January 4th, my friend Courtney shared her seven goals for the year with me. I liked the idea and had some downtime, so I started reflecting on 2019 and what my hopes were for 2020.

I can totally see why people do this.

Here's to a new decade- to learn, grow, dream, create and love with everything I've got.

2019 Highlights and Accomplishments 

Got Beau! 

Celebrated 10 years of marriage. Got out for regular date nights.

Read six books- Becoming, Miracle Morning, Educated, Come As you Are, The Masterpiece, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, The Road Back to You. 

Photography- Learned Lightroom, started using my tripod with a timer to get in the frame, photographed Sovick, Leitz, Hofner, Strelinger (x2!) and Bowlds families. 

Miracle Morning- stopped snoozing on work days and changed my mindset about sleep. Wake up early to exercise 1-2 days a week. 

Podcasts- Got on the bandwagon and binged Coffee and Crumbs, dipped my toes in others.

Writing- kept up on the blog, more or less. 

Trips- Hawaii, Chelan, Iowa, Sunriver, Nurse Renewal Retreat, Penrose camping, weekend in Bend with Ty. 

Spiritual- Established HCC as our home church and attend semi frequently. MOPS leadership. Increased mindfulness.  

Work- Learned to manage my moral distress. 

Kids- So much growth. Reflected on separately in love letters and blog posts.

2020 Goals 

Take a writing workshop. Keep blogging. 

Build a photography website and start charging more for my work. Photography 6-10 families.

Read 6-8 books (The Obesity Code and Mating in Captivity are the first two on the list).

Attend church 3 times a month.
Participate in Alpha. 

Start a dinner club.

Wake up without snooze every day.

Start incorporating other portions of miracle morning into my day.

Stop putting sugar in my coffee and tea.

Intermittent fasting.

Work out 3 times a week.

Get good photos of the kids in every season.

Listen to podcast that inspire me.

Go to Hawaii, plan a summer vacation, and camp a few times.

Go skiing once without the kids and once with them.

One month social media hiatus.

Give more money to charity.

Spend 5 minutes working on reading with each of the kids daily.

When I got home from work on NYE Ty and the boys were preparing for the east coast ball drop. It was 8:45 when Wes excitedly exclaimed- 15 minuets until midnight! The ball dropped, we celebrated, and everyone was in bed by 9:30.

Christmas 2019

We stayed local this year and spend Christmas with Leitz/Rallos. We hosted Christmas afternoon and everyone stayed in the Harbor for multiple days. It felt relaxed, fun, and like we got quality time with everyone.

We intentionally keep Christmas Eve pretty low key and enjoyed a family day with church in the afternoon. Steve and Paula came over for dinner and the kids were ready to go to bed early for the first time ever.

They went to sleep around 8 and Owen woke up around 11 pm, just as Ty and I were finishing up and getting ready for bed ourselves. Santa had delivered wrapped presents but it was clear from their shape exactly what they were. He excitedly exclaimed- "Santa came!" To which Ty and I replied "no he didn't- go back to bed." I walked upstairs with him and we laid down in his bed. Owen asks- "did you get Wessy a keyboard and Hazel and trampoline?" to which I admit, "no, we did not." Owen replies "then Santa came!" I can't deny that and tell him I was in the other room editing photos and didn't hear single thing. He must have snuck in while I was still awake!

3 hours of tossing and turning proceeded. I was getting super frustrated because I wanted Owen to have a good nights sleep for the big day ahead. At a low point around 2 or 3 am I told him he was going to be so tired the next day he'd ruin Christmas. He finally settled out but neither of us slept much. On Christmas Day he was actually really good. At bedtime Ty told him he was proud of him for listening so well and Owen replied, "See, I didn't ruin Christmas like you said." Ty mentally noted it was mom who said that but didn't throw me under the bus.

As parents sometimes we need just as much grace as our kids and I'm thankful that Christmas promises it. Good tidings of great joy indeed.

5-Year-Old Love Letter

My Sweet Wessy Bug,

You are 5 years old. Inquisitive, kind, eager to learn and please. You pay attention to everything and have a a propensity for perfectionism. You are a peace keeper and always seeking to appease those around you. You love doing things to get in Owen's good graces and are extremely loving and protective of Hazel. You know when to stand your ground and when to let things go. You love playing board games, doing puzzles, projects and drawing. Your family portraits are one of my favorite things ever.

You played your first season of soccer this year and loved it. You didn't score any goals but didn't seem to care. You were just happy to run up and down the field with your friends and get your snack at the end. When you run you get your whole body into it, exerting maximum effort for a mediocre pace. At home you're constantly kicking the ball around and practicing your skills. You learned to ride a bike sans training wheels this summer and can do it with ease, but you still aren't comfortable enough to want to do it on the regular. The scooter is your preferred mode of neighborhood transportation.

You love your blankies and listening to music. You can write the alphabet and are learning to spell. I get the sense that academics will come easily to you. You have a zest and enthusiasm for life that is contagious. From your expressions to your laugh- you make everything more fun. There is something so sweet and special about you it feels impossible to articulate. You love upside down hugs and end each day with three hugs and three kisses for your mama. You're not big on "yes" or "no" and generally answer questions with an "of course!" "never!" or "fine." This is the last year you'll be home before kindergarten and I find myself soaking up the time. As a second time mama I know these days are sacred.

As you grow I hope you continue to seek opportunities to learn and be kind. I pray you know that your needs are important and that you extend the same kindness to yourself as you do to others. I tell you every night hoping that it will seep into your bones and the deepest part of your being- I love you, I believe in you, I'm proud of you. You're the best Wessy in the whole world. You are so special to me, you are so special to God and such an important part of our family. I love being with you and being your mama fills my heart with joy.

xoxo,
Your loving mama

7-Year-Old Love Letter

My Sweet Owen,

My first born, you are 7-years-old. You are full on school age with missing teeth and potty jokes for days. You are thriving in first grade and still love to play school when you're at home. You love math and are becoming a more confident reader everyday. You are super helpful and industrious, always willing to lend a hand. You are interested in money and learning about spending, saving and giving. Sometimes you come home from school and immediately get to work cleaning the house- vacuuming, taking out the garbage and dusting to earn a little extra cash. You love imaginative play and constantly reenact whatever you've experienced in the world.

Your two best friends are Christopher and Tucker. You and Tucker have been in the same class the last two year and Christopher's family is building a house next door. You love playing with him in the construction site and the two of you consistently sit together on the bus. I've always dreamed of having a best friend neighbor family and am so glad that is coming true for you. You, Weston and Hazel play really well together and you're always looking out for them. They both think you're the best and will follow wherever you lead. Physical touch is your primary love language and you live for the bedtimes back scratch/snuggle. When you're having a hard day sitting and connecting is especially important. 

The transition to first grade was a tough one and it took some time to adjust. A month with a long term substitute and not a lot of classroom engagement left you feeling depleted at the end of each day. Since your teacher, Mr. Cleary, has been back you are enjoying school and motivated to learn. You're still working on producing your best, quality work on the regular, which you are totally capable of if you set your mind to it. 

A highlight of your 6th year was adding Beau to the family. You love having a dog and are so great with him. The day we went to choose him the two of you had an instant bond and you accurately said that "he choose us." You're competitive and like to win. You're a whiz on your bike and can ride multiple miles if you choose. You played another season of soccer and claimed to love it despite the fact that you didn't appear all that engaged. You value family and love being at home.

As my first born we are always learning and growing together. Your blue eyes and kind heart make my world go round and I'm incredibly proud of you. You are everything I'd always hoped you'd be. I love you with all that I have and all that I am. I'm looking forward to another year of adventures together.

xoxo,
You loving mama

Sunriver Thanksgiving 2019

Traveling on Thanksgiving has never seemed like a good idea to me and Ty has long tried to convince me otherwise. This year we decided to give it a go and planned a trip to Sunriver with my family. We rented a house and our hopes for snow came true.

We crammed 16 people (including my almost 90 year old grandparents, sadly not pictured) into a beautiful rental and had a wonderful time. Sledding, ice skating, hot toddies and time with family is everything a holiday should be. Erin, Manda and I made leftse for the first time, a tradition from the Wilhelm family that I've always wanted to keep alive. And we celebrated Owen's 7th birthday.

Suddenly it seems silly not to travel for Thanksgiving. A long weekend that everyone has off of work makes perfect sense. I'm hopeful we'll be able to make this the new norm. Gratitude continues to be the resounding song of my heart. I'm thankful for my people every day.