Pregnancy 2.0

One of the most surprising things about being pregnant for a second time is how much I forgot about the whole experience.  It's similar to childbirth in the evolutionary sense that your body blocks it out so you'll have more kids. Once the baby is here you're left with the nostalgia of strangers being kind to you in public and the pregnancy glow. I remember being tired but forgot how much work it is to carry around an extra 30 pounds. I remember loving being pregnant and don't feel quite as special this time around. I also forgot what a magical feeling it is to have a baby flip flipping around inside of me.  2.0 is sure a mover and I love the special bond that I feel for him.

I am tired. Not necessarily tired because I want to sleep but physically exhausted.  Being pregnant is hard work and with a toddler there is no taking it easy. I'm out of energy by the time I've showered and dried my hair most days. With Owen it was all about me and I took naps and got massages when I felt exhausted. Though I sometimes try to sneak those things in, they are pretty few and far between. I'm down to the final month and it's getting tough.

I've gone back and forth being disappointed about having another boy. I think I had to go through the stages of grief and mourn the loss of what I had always imagined. I am now in the acceptance stage and feel super excited about the fact that I'm having another little man.  I read this psalm and with it came an overwhelming sense of peace. Psalm 139 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Around the same time I read that by the 20th week of gestation, a female fetus has developed a reproductive system, including 6 to7 million eggs in her ovaries.  Meaning that even though I always imagined myself having girls, my two sweet boys have been with me my entire life and thus this is the way it was always supposed to be.

Kari hosted a small shower for me and it was lovely.  It was nice to take an afternoon to think about this baby and get excited. There have been so many other things going on I honestly haven't had a ton of time to think about having a newborn again. I love seeing the tiny clothes and am thankful this little one will have a few things of his own. Hand me downs are great but I'm glad not everything he has was once Owen's :)

As the holidays and my due date approach I am getting increasingly excited.  Winter babies are snuggly and sweet and I love this time of year.  The last few weeks have been crisp, cold, dry and beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing Owen's excitement on his birthday and Christmas and can hardly wait to meet the newest member of our family.

23 weeks

30 weeks

36 weeks