Parenting through connection

In the midst of the chaos these past few months Owen has been growing and changing and making my heart want to burst. He is in such fun phase. And yes, I know I say that about every phase. His language is finally taking off and he is talking all the time, making him quite entertaining to be around. He gets super excited about the littlest things and is full of life and love.

We had slipped into a routine in which Ty was basically taking care of Owen and I was taking care of Weston. It makes a lot of sense in that Ty can't breastfeed and when babies are super tiny they need their mom to do the majority of their care. But I quickly realized that if I wasn't spending quality time with Owen he only wanted to be with his dad. He's always been kind of a daddy's boy but it certainly increased in intensity and made me feel awful. I would go into Owen's room to get him up from a nap and he would cry for his daddy. With the postpartum hormones I had to fight back tears at times. So, I decided that I needed to spend some quality time with my first born every day, and it made all the difference. If I spend even just 15 minutes engaged in one on one play time with my Owen in the morning, he wants to be with me and we spend the day working together. 

What a powerful lesson. Above all what our kids crave is our time and attention. Spending quality time with them makes them feel loved, secure and connected to us. It's easy to feel like we are spending time together simply by being in the same space all day long, but it is essential to connect and engage with them every. single. day. I hope that I always remember this. In years to come when Owen and Wes are acting out and misbehaving I will always need to ask myself how much time I've spend with them and how well I've been connecting with them. Right now connecting with Wes is the time we spend while he breastfeeds, snuggling together for naps and wearing him around in the ergo. He craves physical closeness as he adjusts to life outside the womb. Connecting with Owen is playing trains, watching him go down the slide at the park, making pancakes and reading books. He needs my encouragement as he explores his world.  I image in years to come connection will come through watching sporting events, family dinners, vacations and time outdoors. As their needs are ever changing I pray that I will always find ways to connect with my boys so they always feel secure, loved and accepted for all they are.