Waiting on Baby

What felt like the longest, darkest winter ever has finally ceased and the summer sun is upon us. We joined the Canterwood Country Club down the street from our house and now spend every nice day by the pool. With the wet winter I felt lonely and disconnected, causing me to question whether or not we should have stayed in Seattle. But now that the days are long and we can enjoy afternoons in our backyard and dinner on the patio I feel 100% content with where we are. Hanging by the pool has been a great way to meet other moms and I'm learning to let go of some of my worries regarding relationships that are difficult to maintain. Gig Harbor is an amazing community and I love raising our boys here. I feel like their childhood is pretty magical, something a lot of Gig Harbor natives say as adults.

I am just over 38 weeks pregnant and ready to meet this sweet baby any time now. I've developed gestational diabetes in the last trimester which is really the first complication I've had in all three pregnancies. It certainly makes things a little harder as I have to monitor my diet closely, limit carbohydrates and cut out all sweets, but in the grand scheme of things I know it's not that big of a deal. If anything it made me more realize how complicated pregnancies are and grateful for the lack of problems thus far. All and all I feel pretty good and the second half of this pregnancy has been much easier than the first. 

The boys have been exceptionally sweet lately and I feel myself cherishing every day that we have left as a family of four. Owen is gaining more independence all the time, he can get himself dressed, buckle himself in his car seat and watch a show for an hour while I rest. Wes is so animated and full of personality it just kills me. He makes the sweetest, funniest and most mischievous expressions. The two of them are super sweet together and have a blast playing. I love watching them engage and their special bond brings joy to my heart. Right now they feel easy as they can both play independently and I don't have to micromanage every move. Of course, we're getting ready to start all over again with another baby who is constantly in need. I'll be sad to see some of this freedom we're experiencing disappear but at the time same time it makes me realize how fleeting the all intensive stage of having a baby is. In another two years the baby will be Weston's age and all three of them will be swimming in the pool together. 

I've always been hesitant to have three kids due to the dynamic of someone being left out. When I was growing up my older sister and I were so close in age that we did everything together and my younger sister was typically the third wheel. Owen and Wes have such a great bond that I worried about shifting that dynamic. I've since realized that there is no reason a set of three won't have a wonderful bond. They can all play together and there are plenty of times when siblings want to be left alone. Two can pair up while the other has quiet time, they'll have a alternate playmate when they get sick of each other and solitude when they need it. And above all, they'll always have each other. When I watch Owen and Wes fight and solve problems I am incredibly grateful that they have the opportunity to work together everyday. Adding a third will just create more opportunities for cooperation, problem solving and friendship as they grow. Owen is SO excited to have this baby and talks about all the ways he is going to protect and care for it constantly. I can not wait to watch them meet and love this little one.  

I am really excited for the labor process to get started and to find out the gender of this baby. I've had three very vivid dreams it's a girl and from what I could see on the 20 weeks ultrasound it looked much more like girl parts than boy. I can picture the moment of her being born and my heart bursting with joy for the baby girl I always thought I'd have. At the same time I can totally picture it being another boy. I can imagine the three of them running around shirtless on hot days and playing sports until they're sweaty and exhausted. Since the day I found out that Weston was a boy I've known that my life may never include a daughter and if that's my destiny than I am totally okay with it. My prayer whenever I think of it is that God would give me a contentedness in my heart come what may.

I read this on a blog the other day and it really spoke to me- "You are birthing a baby, but also a newer, deeper, capable, stronger, resilient, incredible YOU is being born. It might take time for you to recognize her so be patient. Receive grace and pray like it's breathing because the most beautiful story is about to be written on your soul." As the due date approaches all the fears and worries I've had about adding to our family have faded and I couldn't be more ready to become a mama of three. I can't wait to hold this sweet baby in my arms and start this new chapter in the Rallo family saga. 

28 weeks 

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36 weeks

37 weeks