From two to three

I love the first few weeks after having a baby. Nothing is expected of you except taking care of your little one. It's okay if your house is a mess, people bring you meals, and everyone rallies around to help. If only it stayed like that forever.

Our first few weeks with Hazel were simultaneously magical and crazy. She is a super mellow baby, and going at it the third time, we have the newborn thing down. I know how fast it goes and wanted to savor the time, cherishing our last rounds of "firsts." Yet while we were drinking in Hazel's newborn goodness, Owen and Weston were dealing with having their world turned upside down. Owen was obsessed with the baby—all he wanted to do was hold her and be with her—but at the same time, his behavior was wild and totally out of character for him. He was hitting, spitting, and having lots of meltdowns. With the sleep deprivation that accompanies a newborn, it was very emotionally trying to deal with. Wes, on the other hand, wasn't interested in the baby at all and acted like both Hazel and I didn't exist for the first three or four days. Although it broke my heart a little to get the cold shoulder from him, outside of that he acted pretty status quo.

When I think back, there was so much stimulation for the boys. Ty and I left them for two days (which we've only done twice in five years), Ty was home full-time, my mom was here, and we had visitors every day. They were exhausted from being outside constantly, doing projects, swimming, and adventuring with Ty. We were initially surprised that Owen had such a hard time adjusting given how excited he was about the baby, but in retrospect it makes a lot of sense. Owen is such a routine guy that any change is hard on him. Luckily, after a few weeks he was back to his (generally) well-behaved self. Those first few weeks were sure a whirlwind for everyone.

After two winter babies, having Hazel in the summer has been great. I've spent a lot of time inside with her, but the light that comes early and lasts late into the evening makes it much easier to cope with the lack of sleep. While Ty was off work, he was able to take the boys camping, kayaking, and on many other outdoor adventures. We spent lots of time at the pool, and being able to be outside every day has kept us all sane.

Having Hazel has made living in Gig Harbor come full circle. After this summer, I feel much more connected to this community. I'm sure part of it is the oxytocin of having a baby, but the community has rallied around us much more than I expected. Multiple neighbors brought gifts for all the kids, friends from church that I barely know brought meals, and being home full-time has provided me with a little more time to invest in my relationships here. Maternity leave has brought lots of time with Rach, getting to know our neighbors, walks with Katie, and some fun outings with Steve and Paula. Now I'm kind of obsessed with Gig Harbor.

I experienced anxiety during my pregnancy with Hazel in ways I never did with the boys. I knew that we were destined to have three babies, but for some reason during that time it was terrifying to conceptualize the reality of it. Yet the second she came out, everything felt exactly how it was supposed to be. All the fears I had dissolved instantly. I have always wanted a girl, though I hate saying that because I don't ever want to make my boys feel like they aren't exactly who I wanted. Because they are—I just didn't know it before they were born. Each of my children fills my heart in unique and special ways, with Hazel occupying that last spot that has always been just for her.

Granted we're only two months in, the transition from two to three has been much smoother than expected. Our life is already so full of chaos that throwing a little more into the mix is no big deal. Owen is getting so independent that caring for him isn't nearly as time-intensive as it was even six months ago, and the boys play together when I need time to focus on the baby. I worry that things will get real when I go back to work, but I am doing my best not to focus on that and just enjoy this time. Two months in, things are pretty great and we are thriving as a family of five.