18 Month Love Letter

Sweet Hazel Grace,

Our little gremlin, or "gremmy" for short. At 18 months toddlerhood and your strong will are coming in hot. You don't want to be left out of anything and work hard to keep up with your brothers. You are fiercely opinionated and have no qualms about making your desires known. Your vocabulary is getting vast quick. Some of your most used words include "me, yeah, mama, dada, nana, papa, more, no, hi, see, uh oh, and sit." You are constantly on the go and quite good at playing by yourself.

You still drink from a bottle and use a binki. You sleep well, generally 12 hours at night from 6:30 to 6:30 or so. We recently gave up the early morning/middle of the night bottle. You take an afternoon nap for 1 1/2 to 2 1/2 hours. We stopped nursing around 15 months. I thought I would breastfeed for longer but it felt like a natural stopping point. It was hard to nurse and read to you at the same time and getting into a bedtime reading rhythm felt most important. You like to read, though settling on one book is a struggle. Establishing a bedtime routine has been a challenge as you are very opinionated about which part of the room we are in and your coveted location changes nightly. Sometimes we read and you drink your bottle in the chair, sometimes I lay you in your crib and read to you while you lay there, and sometimes there is nothing that works so I have to put you in your crib and close the door.  

You have quite the scrunch face and make it frequently. You are an incredibly adaptable child and do well with changes in routine. We give your birth order credit for that. Your favorite foods are mac and cheese, fruit and frozen peas. Some days you don't eat anything, some days you eat a lot, most days you throw everything I put in front of you on the ground. You eat goldfish and raisins much more than I would prefer. Your brothers are allowed to have snacks after a nutritious meal. It's impossible to enforce that rule with you at such a young age and if snack foods are around, you get in on that. You have a single minded determination and can throw an epic fit if you don't get what you want, which is quite often. You've been teething for what feels like six months straight and every tooth has been hard fought. You were sick constantly this winter and had two rounds of antibiotics for a double ear infection. You have two brothers who protect and love on you constantly. The dynamic between the three of you makes me more proud than almost anything else as a parent. 

You're adorable, strong willed and wild at heart. I couldn't love you more. You bring light and spunk wherever you go and I'm confident those qualities will stay with you forever. I love watching you take on the world, it's certainly are more beautiful place with you in it. You are loved, you are worthy, you belong. You are everything I've ever dreamed of.

xoxo,
Your Loving Mama

Boulanger Fam 2018

December 9th, 2018. My first paid photo shoot. I know Lauren from MOPS and she reached out to me after seeing the pictures I took for Katie and Evan. This is exactly what I've been hoping would happen, that people would see my work and ask me to take their photos, so it feels like a big deal. I think I'd have more success with that if I was more active on social media, so I may work on that in the future. 

They wanted a Christmas card photo and it was already December when she contacted me so we didn't have the luxury of waiting for a perfect golden hour. It was pouring down rain the day we'd scheduled so I went to their house and used the porch. I was holding my camera with one hand and an umbrella in the other. There wasn't a lot of options for posing since we only had this one small, dry spot. 

When I got home and put the photos on my computer there were pretty dark and needed a lot of straightening. It forced me to get to work in Lightroom and I learned a lot about editing. Looking at them now I actually feel pretty proud. They're not perfect but I think they capture the love and connection of their family well. The thing I love about photography is that it freezes a moment in time, and I know how important that is. I've never regretted documenting a chapter in my own family history and am confident they won't either. 

As I learn more about this form of art I'm conflicted on where to go from here. I love taking pictures for people and learning in the process but I also already have a full time job. Family photos usually need to be done on the weekends and sacrificing time away from my family is hard to justify. I want more people to ask me to take their photos but I also know that by doing that something else has to give. Right now I'm not sure what the right balance is. I'm really glad I was able to capture these images and will just have to wait and see what opportunities present themselves next. 

4-Year-Old Love Letter

My Sweet Wessy Bug,

I love the 4 year old you.

You are incredibly bright and learn new concepts with zero effort. At 4 you know all your letters, can count to nearly 100 and love to practice writing and doing "homework". You see your brother learning kindergarten academics and its seems totally reasonable to you that you learn them as well. You have a photographic memory and pay very close attention to detail. You are meticulous about coloring within the lines and get surgical when it comes to decorating cookies. You are so much fun and with Owen off at kindergarten you love being the man of the house. You play by yourself super well and embrace having your own space to create and be. When you're in the playroom by yourself I'm always shocked when I come in and there is literally no mess. You have one or two toys out and are completely content.

The middle child gets a lot of flack but in my honest opinion, you've got it pretty good. Out of all the kids I'd say we bring our best parting game when it comes to you. We have learned what battles are worth fighting and still have plenty of resolve to follow through. You are a remarkably well adjusted; you don't get super jealous if someone gets something that you don't, you can wait your turn and as mentioned above you are quite self sufficient when it comes to entertainment. You love doing puzzles and playing games. You talk incessantly and have the sweetest sounding voice. You are a tender and protective big brother to Hazel. You love listening to music at high volumes and repeating the same song one thousand times. You get yourself dressed on occasion but getting you to do it independently is a daily battle. You're pretty motivated by your sticker chart but neither of us have been on top of using it consistently. Your favorite shows are PJ makes and Paw Patrol. Your favorite foods are rice and quesadillas.

You switched daycares in September and still don't love being there. They brush your teeth before nap and the toothpaste is too spicy. Your teachers report that you're pretty quite and prefer to play alone over participating with the other kids. You are slow to warm up in those types of situations and it takes a long time for people to earn your trust. Once you're comfortable you flourish and I know that won't take long to happen in this setting. You fall a lot and still haven't seemed to master the art of putting your hands out to catch yourself. Daddy likes to call you "hips" because of the way you shift your hips when you walk. Your facial expressions and animation light up my days. When I tell you I love you, you respond with "Love you too, you're the best! Actually our whole family is the best!"

One of my favorite things we share is your bedtime ritual. When you get into bed I "say my stuff." I tell you I love you, I believe in you, you're the best Wessy in the whole world, you are so special to me and you make my heart happy, God loves you and I love being with you. I add different things each day and you beam while we chat. You really are the best and there are so many reasons to celebrate you. It's a constant pray in my heart that you know how deeply you are loved and valued. You are such special part of our family and I am profoundly grateful for all that you are. I love you more with each passing day and being your mama is my greatest joy.

xoxo,
Your Loving Mama

Disney 2018

My original plan for the boys' birthday celebration was a party at Ocean 5, an arcade, bowling, gaming place that recently opened in Gig Harbor. I got in touch with them months ahead of time to book the party and they told me it was too early to reserve. When I reached out the next time, the day was booked. I was annoyed and then, on what could only be described as a whim, decided that we should take the boys to Disneyland for their birthdays instead. Four and six felt like the perfect age to experience Disney for the first time and Hazel was old enough that I was comfortable leaving her behind. When I told Owen that Ocean 5 was booked he was pretty obsessed with having his party at Chuck E Cheese instead. I originally thought we'd make the trip a surprise but when I mentioned the Disney idea to him he wasn't really on board. He didn't understand what Disneyland was and he really wanted fifteen people to come to a party and give him presents. I'm trying to instill value in experiences verses things so we talked a lot about what it meant to go on a trip instead of getting gifts. He eventually decided it was a good idea, we found a reasonable price at the Disneyland Hotel and used miles for our flights.

When we found out that I was pregnant with Weston and the due date was so close to Owen's birthday one of the first things I thought about was how fun it would be to do a birthday celebration trip. And of course Disneyland was at the top of the places to go list. So even though I planned this trip at the last minute, it had been a long time coming.

I didn't grow up going to Disneyland and have always thought it was kind of strange how much people continue to love it as adults. I wasn't sure I bought into what makes Disney "magic." I knew we would have fun and was more excited than I anticipated, but I also carried a bit a skepticism.

We went for a long weekend and only spent one day in the park. We arrived in California Saturday afternoon and spent the evening swimming and exploring downtown Disney. Sunday we were in the park by 8 am and didn't leave until well past bedtime, with a brief break in the afternoon. We used our fast passes like pros and the timing worked out perfectly all day. We didn't wait more than 10 minutes for any ride and we hit all the main attractions before noon. Including Space Mountain, which it turns out, isn't really 4 and 6 year old appropriate. We left around 9 pm and got back to our room just in time to watch the fireworks from bed. Being first timers the boys had zero expectations and they loved every minute of it. With the exception of those 8 minutes on Space Mountain, they actually didn't love fearing for their lives and feeling like they were going to vomit. Sunday we did a character breakfast, played at the pool and took an evening flight home. We all missed Hazel but leaving her with my mom and Marty was clearly the right choice. There would have been nothing for her to do at the park and Ty and I wouldn't have gotten the full experience if one of us was constantly hanging back with her.

What I concluded is that this is the only trip we've ever done that was 100 percent for the kids. We weren't there because we wanted to be, but because we knew this would be a weekend they'd remember forever. And I think that's what makes Disney magical. Well, that coupled with the way the rides stimulate your brain and create a huge endorphin rush. What made me want to take this trip more than anything is that  I know we have such a short window of time to do things like this with our kids. A short window where there is nowhere they'd rather be than with us. I want them to grow up with a fondness for sharing adventures with family. And if they love Disneyland as adults because it reminds them of how magical their childhood was, I guess I'll consider that a win.