2021

The progress on my 2020 goals was solid. And I still have so much I'd like to accomplish. I read more than I do in a typical year and photography was an area of real growth. Here's what I checked off the list-- 

• Keep blogging. Check! 
• Build a photography website and start charging more for my work. Photography 6-10 families. Check! I got my website up and running and photographed 10 families. I took a course and learned SO much. I definitely gained a lot of confidence in my work in 2020. 
• Read 6-8 books. I read 13! One Day in December, The Obesity Code, Mating in Captivity, Half Broke Horses, This is How it Always Is, Untamed, Love Warrior, Atomic Habits, A Man Called Ove, Being Mortal, The Silver Star, Britt Marie Was Here and Where the Crawdads Sing. I loved almost every one of them. 
• Attend church 3 times a month. We did virtual church with some regularity. I listened to Pastor Richard's sermons while driving. My true dream is to establish a church home that I feel passionate about in Gig Harbor and we still have a long way to go toward accomplishing that goal. 
• Participate in Alpha. I did this in January/February. I enjoyed the content but felt like to pushed me further away from Chapel Hill. 
• Start a dinner club. I attempted this. It didn't take off in the way I hoped and then the pandemic made it impossible-- but we got together with friends regularly enough that I feel like I can say this is a check. 
• Stop putting sugar in my coffee and tea. Haven't had one sugary beverage in 2020! 
• Intermittent fasting. I got super on board with this trend and have made it part of my lifestyle. It hasn't had as drastic an effect on my weight as I hoped but I think it's good for my overall health and will be worth it in the long run. 
• Work out 3 times a week. Saying I accomplished this may be a stretch but I walked frequently and did my pilates 1-2 times a week for sure. 
• Get good photos of the kids in every season. Check! This has been a breakthrough year for photography. 
• Listen to podcasts that inspire me. I've kept up with Coffee and Crumbs and got super into Brene Brown. I've learned a lot. 
• Go to Hawaii, plan a summer vacation, and camp a few times. Check! I'm so grateful we were able to go on our trip to Hawaii just before the world shut down. We had lots of mini-adventures this summer. 
• One-month social media hiatus. I took January off and really enjoyed the mental clarity it provided. I'm making it an annual thing. 
• Give more money to charity. I started a monthly donation to Together Rising and feel really good about the work I'm contributing to. 
• Spend 5 minutes working on reading with each of the kids daily. We've been reading a lot as a family! Owen has made progress reading on his own. 

Here are the unaccomplished goals from 2020--

• Take a writing workshop. This is still something that I'd love to do. 
• Wake up without snooze every day. I've gotten much better at this and accomplish it on workdays. I've slipped on my days off. 
• Start incorporating other portions of miracle morning into my day. This has been a hard one in 2020 because we were home so much that I didn't feel the need to start my day super early. In 2021 I want to keep getting up earlier and working on more reading, writing and exercising. 
• Go skiing once without the kids and once with them. Ty and I drove up to the mountain in an attempt for me to ski and were turned away. I will try again this year for sure!

Goals for 2021 

• Apply for a photography business license. 
• Start a photography social media account and post twice a month. 
• Photograph 12 families.
• Decrease my FTE to 0.6. Consider other career opportunities.  
• Exercise at least 3 days a week. 
• Start running again. 
• Read 12 books. 
• Continue searching for a church home-- somewhere with diversity. 
• Open college savings accounts for Wes and Hazel. 
• Become a certified life coach. 
• Commit to learning and reading about race, equity and white privilege. 
• Take a writing workshop.
• Ski once with the kids and once without them. 

I was off on New Year's Eve for the first time in many years. We had a bonfire in the driveway and counted down the New Year on East Coast time. After sparkling cider and confetti blasters, everyone was ready for bed by 9:30. We were careful in our language to say New Year instead of midnight. When Wes asked what time it was, Ty and I attempted to redirect his attention. He persisted and when the boys looked at the clock they asked "How is it only 9:30 when it's past midnight?" We told them we didn't know and it was time for bed.

Here's to another year of learning, loving and dreaming. 

Christmas 2020

I've always known that what makes the holidays special is our sweet kiddos and 2020 has reaffirmed that. As long as the five of us are together, we have everything we need. Their joy is contagious and making these memories means everything to me. 

Our celebrations were smaller than typical but we were able to spend time with most of the grandparents and some of the cousins. On Christmas Eve, we went to a drive-in church service where the kids proceeded to spill hot chocolate all over our car and their special outfits. I made a lovely fillet mignon dinner and homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Christmas morning was full of merriment and the boys were super excited to get their Nintendo switches. I have a feeling this may be the Christmas gift they remember for many years to come. 

Owen's belief in Santa grew weary this year. A neighbor whose family doesn't celebrate Christmas told him he doesn't exist. Owen was quick to reject that claim, but a seed of doubt has been planted. I feel conflicted as to keep up with the facade. Now that he asks so many questions, flat-out lying feels distressing. 

We have an elf on the shelf named Wolfie Umiak. We also have an advent calendar. The same day that Wolfie made an appearance, the calendar began to have three candies in it every morning. I don't remember saying that the elf was filling it, but that was the assumption. Owen and I were sitting in our newly renovated TV room when he asked where Wolfie is getting the candy. I can tell by his sly smile that something is up. Always honest, he admits seeing a bag of Christmas candy tucked in the furthest corner of the top pantry shelf. I respond with "that sneaky little elf!" Owen then shares that he thought it was mom and dad filling the calendar. He shatters my heart a bit when he goes on to say-- "What you say is true, so if you say you didn't put the candy there, you didn't put the candy there. So, it has to be Wolfie!" So loving, innocent and trusting. I didn't know how to walk it all back, so I remained silent. I spent the remainder of the season unsure of the best way to proceed and asked as many friends as I could about their family traditions. 

In the end, I decided that because my kids know Christmas is a celebration of Jesus, Santa or not-- there will always be something to believe in. Someone told me that when the older children learn about Santa you then tell them they are part of the secret. They get to help surprise their siblings and be part of creating the magic. I can see Owen being really into that idea and think it will be super fun. 

In the meantime, I'll be praying he isn't devastated when he finds out everything I say is not, in fact, true. 

The Evangelical Christian community has done an extremely poor job of representing the Jesus that I believe in throughout the pandemic and it's tested my allegiance to organized religion. I always feel God's goodness most profoundly around Christmas and though my heart is faint I trust that He will lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 

The weary world still rejoices. May He bring us goodness and light. 

Fall 2020

Back to school is always a time of transition, which makes for excitement, uncertainty, highs and lows. This fall was ripe with the normal September changes and layered with the dumpster fire that is 2020. The first two weeks of virtual school trapped inside with a second grader and kindergartener on two different screens were brutal. None of us knew how to work the technology and unlike the spring, full participation was both required and very necessary when assessing Owen's skill set. Hazel was stuck inside with all other family members physically present but emotionally unavailable, understandably causing less than ideal behavior. The boys were competitive with each other and jealous when the other had a break, less work, etc. I had a positive attitude going into it and figured if we could get over the hump of the first few weeks, a routine would ensure. After week two my optimism was waning and I couldn't fathom nine long months of this. 

Late September, Wes started in-person school, which is what made the fall manageable in the Rallo household. Eliminating one child and therefore the sibling rivalry gave everyone space to breathe. I've found that with any tough transition one of the hardest things for me is figuring out when to grocery shop. That struggle continued this fall. I couldn't leave during the day and wanted to avoid taking all three kids into public places as much as possible. When the meal plan is lacking, I know our new normal is shifting. 

After mastering the technology and under the direction of a fantastic teacher, Owen began to thrive. At the beginning of the year, it was clear what was lost in first grade. Owen's teacher went out on paternity leave for a month and the long-term sub was terrible. He didn't appear to teach the kids anything and Owen came home at the end of each day a total wreck. Mr. Cleary came back and there were a few months of stability. Then the pandemic hit and the last three months of school were lost. We did the one hour per day of poorly organized lessons provided, but it wasn't much. After the stress of it all, we didn't focus on academics through the summer. Come second grade, Owen was clearly behind. I felt terrible and like I failed him as a mother. I should have had him reading aloud during the summer and made staying on track academically more of a priority. My stress over this was my biggest mom meltdown of the pandemic. 

But somehow, despite learning in front of a screen in his room, Owen became a strong reader this fall. One of the biggest gifts that virtual learning gave me was the opportunity to see what was being taught and expand on it. We'd take the skills he'd learned and practice them together. He read for 20 minutes a night without fail. Right after Christmas a flip switched someone in his brain and he sat down to read an entire chapter book from cover to cover. He made 200% of the expected progress for the year in three months. On Zoom.

I am incredibly proud of him and incredibly relieved. Looking back, I still regret not doing more with him earlier on but I also see the value in establishing a love of reading above all else. The hours spent reading aloud, something he enjoyed, were not in vain. I focused on making reading a positive experience over pushing him to progress because I want his relationship with books to be one of passion, excitement and curiosity. At the end of the day, semester, year..., he can read and his desire for it is intact. I'm deeply grateful for the resilience and capability of the childhood brain. 

Meanwhile, Wessy bug did great in Kindergarten. Hazel and I found ways to keep her entertained inside. Ty worked from home which allowed us to have family dinners together nightly. My lack of social engagements felt less significant than I'd anticipated and we prioritized spending time with extended family. 

On January 1st, I got my first Covid vaccine. On January 19th, Owen went back to school in person. January 20th, Biden was inaugurated and January 22nd, I got my second vaccine. The new year feels full of promise for a brighter future. Hazel and I now have the freedom to run errands and meet friends for walks whenever we please. Weekly meal planning has resumed. It's only been a month since we stopped virtually learning and the memory of it feels faint. My love and appreciation for our teachers and schools have never been stronger.