You are eighteen months old. Parents always seem to be lamenting the fact that their children are growing up. It goes so fast! We all say it, all the time. And it is so true. There is something extremely profound about witnessing something that started as dream, morphed from a single cell into a fetus, grow and become a little person full of life and love. I was looking at pictures of the day you were born and felt a strange twinge in my heart as remembered what a magnificent day that was and reflected on how much both you and Owen have changed since. It is incredibly bittersweet. As your loving mama, I vow to resist the strong temptation to wish a never-ending infancy upon you. I'm not sure what makes it innately hard but I vow to focus on fully celebrating each milestone, enjoying each stage and cherishing the everyday moments that define them. I know these baby and toddler years are like nothing else and they will be forever written on my heart. I also know that each year of your life has something unique to teach us and I love watching you grow.
You are such a fun and interactive little guy. You love reading books, singing songs and are talking up a storm. I'm starting to think you may have a bit of a wild side. You love running, rough housing and don't get scared of loud noises. My four favorite things that you do right now are 1) say "one more," while pointing your finger 2) If I bend down and put out my arms- you enthusiastly run into them and give me a bear hug. Actually, anytime time you "run." 3) After I change your diaper I let you stand on your chaining table and say "trust fall" as you jump into my arms. 4) When Owen pretends to give you food and your pretend to eat it with a huge grin and lip smack. You love wearing hats, shoes and sunglasses.
You scream quite a bit these days and are learning to deal with frustration. When I consider your toddler experience I can't help but compare it to Owen's and note that your life isn't quite as easy as his was. You've got a 3 year old brother who both loves and torments you. Nothing you have can quite be considered your own and your time for undivided attention is slimmer than it was for my first born. But here's the thing, having an easy life isn't what makes it beautiful. You have a brother who will always be on your side. When I drop you at the gym childcare, he holds your hand if you cry and stays by your side while I'm gone. When you're in high school, he'll protect you in the same way. And when you're grown, he'll be the only one who understands the quirks of our family. The frustrations over toys and attention you experience now are more than worth it. The lessons you learn working together with your brother will serve you well as you navigate the world.
We've stopped nursing and you handled the transition just fine. At bedtime we sit in the rocking chair while we read books, then we sing songs while we snuggle. You would lay with you head tucked into the crook of my neck all night if I let you. I mourned the loss of our breastfeeding bond but this special time has been a wonderful replacement. I am so glad you are such a cuddler, it is the best time of day. As I sat and rocked with you the other night I felt tears prick my eyes as I thought about what an incredible gift you are. I sat and prayed that you would always know that you are worthy of love and belonging. You will make mistakes but they will never define you and this family will always be here to welcome you home. I pray that your life will be rich with kindness, peace, and generosity, that you will always be grateful for what you have and know that you are enough.
xoxo,
Your loving mama
