A patient whose family I really connected with died last week. I am heartbroken. The parents are a young, fun loving couple that I sat and chatted with feeling more like they were old friends. I took care of this sweet girl for the first time when I was pregnant with Owen and they helped me brainstorm names, though I didn't go with Easton as they suggested. She was readmitted recently and very suddenly went for a toddler with adorable blonde pig tails testing her parents nerves confined in a hospital room to maximum life support. My job has always been challenging emotionally but this loss hit me harder than any have before. I think it's largely because I now have a mother's heart and understand how wholly and deeply we love our children. I also realized that all of the patients I have really connected with over the years have done well. She is the first of the 8 or 9 who have been especially important to me that has been called home. I am attending the funeral tomorrow, something I haven't done for a patient before. This angel will forever have a place in my heart.
When I came home from work sobbing, Ty and I decided that the only way we can honor this sweet angel, and all the others who are taken to heaven too soon, is by loving and cherishing each moment we have with our little man. A healthy baby is honestly the greatest gift in this world and there is not a day that goes by I don't thank God for my family. After what happened to Karina earlier this year and the heartbreak that comes with caring for sick children, I am reminded that only so much of life is in our control. Things can change in an instant. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but today is something to celebrate.
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